Saying goodbye
I went to the dentist yesterday and had a great time.
That’s not the typical experience, but, you see, I’ve got a pretty special dental hygienist. Her name is Mary and she’s awesome. From the moment our eyes meet we’re laughing and talking. There’s something about her that puts me at ease, which is good when your mouth is forced open for an hour straight. We talked about California and craigslist and I gave her tips for how to get a good deal. I learned about her other jobs (she works two!) and how she took care of her mom before she died. I felt like she was a friend. A friend I see every 6 months. Not really a friend at all, but someone I could be friends with, and that’s saying a lot. You don’t meet too many Marys.
So when I was getting ready to go, the goodbye was kinda tricky. I wanted to say ‘see you next time,’ but there’s not gonna be a next time. So I said goodbye. We hugged. It was sweet, if not strange for the people waiting in lobby.
And it all got me thinking about starting over. Moving to California is going to be good for me, but it’s still going to be hard. It means saying goodbye to everyone I know now and finding new people to fill my life with. Sure, I’ll have friends when I get there (those are kind of built into the deal), but will I meet another Mary? And if there’s the chance that I do, how long will take to find her?
All the “periphery” people who fill up my life here in Philly (the dry cleaner who knows my phone number by heart, the hair stylist who knows my mom’s name) are going to be gone. When I get to California, I’ll be looking to replace them, but I never really will. I’ll miss them. As weird as it sounds, I’ll miss them.
So imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye to the real friends – the ones who drive me to work everyday and dance with me in the morning at school and tell me jokes while I’m teaching and make pottery with me and run with me.
It’s going to be harder than I’m making it out to be. I need to accept that or else saying goodbye is going to be a messy affair. At least I’ve already said goodbye to Mary. That was a first step. Like practice. Who’s next?
- Jeff
Love this post and the person who wrote it too
I feel you on this. So much. I was going to say something poignant about leaving Korea but I’m already getting teary eyed just thinking about it. There are no words. Love you and miss you bunches. Lets bump into each other on skype.
I can’t wait to say “hello” to you again
1. You are the only person I know who goes to the dentist like clockwork.
2. When do you make pottery?
3. The peripheries are important and you tend to impact everyone you meet. Reminds me of the old “Always know where you’re going and never forget where you’re from (/who you met)
1. I love my teeth
2. I took a 6 week pottery class with Erika and Becca
3. You’re really sweet. I know where I’m going – I hope one day soon it’s near you again.
Oh, this is so sad – I too feel your pain. You will keep in touch with your special friends – you are only a phone call away. New people that are amazing will continue to fill your life. I promise. Love you, Mom
Jeff,
When I was in college I was an Orientation Leader. During closing ceremonies there was a dramatic readers’ theater that always made me cry. My favorite part of the performance was this, “Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary for us to meet again… and meeting again after a moment or a lifetime is certain for those who are friends.”
I will miss you in the mornings, miss you in the evenings, and I’ll miss you around suppertime. But I know that I will know you.
Jeff, saw this on FB and I had to respond! I feel like I’ve been on a constant cylce of “peripheries” since I have moved all over the country every 2-6 months since I graduated 2 years ago. I have some great people that I carry with me everywhere (the “goodbye for now” types), but there are so many great people that are, unfortunately, the “goodbye for good” types. I totally understand the Mary moments…they are the those little interactions that shape our days and our thought-processes. Be thankful you are the type of person who can see value in that. From my experience, there are tons of people that ignore the Mary moments. And boy are they missing out!! It’s a bittersweet part of life, but keep embracing it
Have a safe move to CA!!