Don’t ask, I’ll tell
“But I’m gay,” I’d said. The man on the other end of the line was silent, grunted and thanked me for my time. Thrown a bit by my comment, I think he wasn’t sure what to say or do next. He hadn’t asked, after all. But I wasn’t about to be recruited by the army without some give and take. I wanted it to sting, so I came out and said it.
In my senior year of high school, I was forced to sign up for the selective service system (you know, in case there’s a draft). Ever since, I started getting these types of recruitment calls at home every now and then. It’s federal law for young men to sign up without 30 days of their 18th birthday. And once you’re in the system, you’re in the system. At first, it was almost flattering – “you want me?” But then it was just annoying. There was no way in hell I was enlisting in the military, and I was going through an anti-Bush war phase.
I was out by the time, and it just pissed me off that these guys kept calling me. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” as much of a compromise as it maybe was in 1993, looked like discrimination and bigotry in 2008. But there was a strange comfort in knowing that, if there was a draft, I was safe. You can’t mistake me for straight. A quick Google search would provide enough evidence for my dishonorable discharge trial. And so, in a strange way, I’m kind of feeling nonchalant about the current reform being touted by Obama and his Joint Chiefs of Staff. Even Collin Powell, who forged the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, is calling for its repeal. I mean, I want it gone – don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a disgrace and a real threat to our national security. But in some way, I was relieved by its existence. There was something about being excluded from war that felt ok to me. I know that equality, if real, must be for the good and bad. For the weddings and the wars.
It means, if there is a draft, I’ll be eligible. I mean, can you imagine me? A soldier? Ha. My sexual orientation isn’t what they should reject me for. There so, so, so many other reasons.
- Jeff
If there’s a draft, we’re going to Canada.
Really good blog, probably your best work yet
The comfort gays enjoy of being excluded from the military would quickly disappear if there were ever a shortage of able bodies deciding to enlist. Political, religious and military “leaders” would suddenly become enlightened, and the ban on gays would be summarily reversed. There would be no need for a year-long study to determine the impact gays in the military would have on the rank and file.
Isn’t it funny that so many straight men think that they are irresistible to every gay man? (Are straight men attracted to every woman they see?) Those otherwise brave soldiers cower at the thought of showering with a gay guy. Even if a gay man happens to be nearby, are our soldiers afraid to defend themselves from the unlikely advances of a leering man? If so, that tells us a lot about the quality of our armed forces.
Although you and I would make poor fighters, Jeff, those gay men and women whose physical strength and mental attitude suit the requirements of the military should be allowed to serve their country.
By the way, thanks for telling the recruiter that you’re gay. More of us need to do that kind of thing. And on the fothcoming census forms, we need to declare that we are gay Americans — even if we have to write it in!
I hope one day women are included in the draft. I definitely don’t want to go to war, nor want my hypothetical daughters to go, but come on. I want to be equal.