Jeff for America

I’ve been in weddings before, but it’s always been traditional. I’ve done the role of the groomsman, and it was fun and all. But now, I want to be a bridesmaid. Totally strange to write. Probably stranger to read. I get it. But to be honest, I’m a lot closer to Diana than Harry, so why can’t I stand on her side of the aisle? Thankfully, Diana agrees.

But if I’m going to be in the wedding, standing with Diana, what should I be called? Originally, we called it a bridesgroom, only to find later on that the bridesgroom is the name of the groom (that would be Harry). I am certainly not the groom, so bridesgroom is out. Upon closer inspection, we discovered that I’m officially the “bridesman.” My spellcheck is currently underlining all of the above terms in bright red, informing that these are, in fact, not real words. But I’m going to just ignore that.

A bridesman, according to several sources, is a close male friend or companion of the bride and has no prior affiliation with the groom. They stand with the bride during the ceremony and participate in all of the bridal activities prior to the wedding (well, maybe not all of them). Now, I know what you’re thinking. Totally non-traditional. But what is tradition anyway? Usually, traditions maintain their stature not because they make our lives better, or because they even make sense – but because they are accepted. I say to hell with it. When it comes to people, I want to do what feels right. And this just feels right. I’m actually pretty proud of her for not bowing to the pressure of this genderized tradition.

Ok, so spellcheck is telling me genderized is not a word, either. To hell with it – I’ll wrap this up.

And my favoriate line from the wedding planner website:

“Men who fill the role of a bridesman usually do not want to wear a bridesmaid dress.” Usually.

- Jeff