Dream big
Children’s books have the capacity to make complex ideas more simple, colorful and sometimes, even more meaningful. By simplifying the large issues of the day, children’s books articulate a clear message and leave the rest up to the reader. Interpretation of the pictures and scant text is not the job of the author – it’s an exercise of the imagination.
So you can imagine my excitement when I found a new children’s book to fawn over. I stumbled upon this book last week when my friend Selica mentioned it from her travels abroad. She is currently living South Korea – where An Awesome Book has apparently spread like wildfire. The author made a short video about his journey to writing the book – a story of humble a guy who wanted to write a book about dreaming for his son. The final product is beautiful. Colorful and imaginative illustrations fill each page, and the message (although somewhat contrived) has something refreshing about it. It didn’t feel like any other children’s book – it felt like something meant for grown ups.
By the end, his message is this: that dreaming is a skill that shouldn’t be wasted on tangible things like money and goods. Instead, he wants kids to give up those wants in pursuit of dreams that inspire action and fun. It reminded me of a quote Diana (another friend abroad) sent me.
“At every level the greatest obstacle to transforming the world is that we lack
the clarity and imagination to conceive that it could be different.”
- Roberto Unger
Just reminds you that dreaming isn’t just for kids or the naive. It’s for everyone.
He has posted the entire book here for you to read – and buy if you feel the inspiration. He donates one book to the public for every book purchased online.
Here’s a little sneak peek:
Using data better
If there’s anything lacking at my school (and most) it’s not tests. In a 9 month period, my students take dozens of tests, including those from their teachers and those mandated by the state. There are four levels of testing that most students endure throughout the school year. Just for fun, I adapted the Homeland Security Advisory System to fit with the four levels of testing. With each level, the stakes become higher.
Schools have become so driven by these tests that the most important of them all (high stakes) takes only two days of the whole year, yet determine most of the curriculum, cost the most money and demand the most energy. In Pennsylvania, it is called the PSSA – and has already taken over the daily grind in most schools. PSSA this, PSSA that. In the end, each school is usually aware of their student’s progress to date and ability to perform well on the state test. They measure this throughout the year on various tests that attempt to mimic the PSSA in word choice and content. These are the predictive tests that are administered 4 + times throughout the school year.
This year, my school decided to order an external testing service to measure our in-house progress from September through the PSSA in April. Unfortunately, we went on the cheap and didn’t order anything more than the tests themselves. That meant no scantron, no grade sheet and a lot of time deciphering our student’s data. We were given the test booklets and instructions to fill out a two-sided grid for each of our classes. The grid (seen below) was confusing, manually entered, unarchivable, and ultimately useless.
By counting the number of X’s in each question column, the naked eye must decide which questions and skills the most students struggled with. It was an imperfect system that gave me little information about my students’ performance, and took up way too much time. Multiply that across my school of teachers, and we are putting in tens of hours of work into creating hand-written grids that are hard to read and impossible to integrate into our teaching.
So, with the help of my amazing roommate and friend Becca, I created this:
An electronic form of the grid, this spreadsheet format now gives us the ability to quickly and easily enter the data into the grid and instantly receive information about our students’ performance by breaking the questions into skills, color coding each question item for its total correct score, and providing a PSSA equivalent category for individual students. From here, you can create graphs of student performance by class, group (special education, for example) or grade. With a few clicks of the mouse, the information can be manipulated and turned into something useful. It took about 5 hours to put together, and without Becca – would have been far more primitive. But I did it – and the results have been amazing. I gave a short workshop session to all the teaching staff and now everyone is on board.
It has been one of my more tangible accomplishments this year – and something that really excited me. I like the feeling of creating something to make my school more efficient and my colleagues better teachers. Next year, I’ll be advising my school to purchase everything with the tests – not just the test books. And I really don’t mind that the testing scantron machine will make my electronic grid obsolete. I don’t really care how we do it, I just want us to use our data better. If we’re gonna force these kids to take tests, the results better be damn useful.
- Jeff
The jig is up
Kyle has been vying for my attention for some time now. His moods vary greatly throughout the day and seem to depend on the amount of face time I’m able to give him. During homeroom in the morning, he follows me like a shadow and creeps in and out of my room throughout the day during passing periods. Totally innocent, Kyle is craving some male attention – and not just mine. He has developed a good raport with other men in the building but seems to be especially attached to me. I’ve taken him on as a helper in the classroom, conversed with him about every subject imaginable and even made a special handshake that just the two of us know.
And in the back of my mind, I can’t help but see a little of myself in him. Now, I come to this conclusion without any evidence or curiosity – I haven’t pursued this information or confirmed it. It’s just kind of there. So when Kyle told me that he had googled my name a few weeks ago, I immediately put up a wall. I could tell where this was heading, and I didn’t need anything more on my plate. Obviously searching for someone to talk to, or at least look to, Kyle had discovered my little secret.
While I don’t consider being gay a secret anymore, it’s certainly not common knowledge among my students. When they ask me questions about my girlfriend or if I’m getting married, I usually laugh, tell them “I can’t” or refer to my long-standing on-again, off-again fake relationship with my co-worker Ms. Teune. But once I knew he had looked me up online, the jig was up. There’s simply no tip-toeing around this:
Practically every link is related to something LGBT I did in college. The inevitable question came this past Monday.
“Mr. Manassero – is everything online about you true?”
“Well, Kyle, yes – I don’t think there are any lies on there about me.”
“Then what does LGBT mean?”
“It means Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender.”
“Are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Gay?”
I wasn’t going to lie – the question was there, and Kyle was just waiting – clinging to the hope that I would just say it out loud – that maybe he was actually in the midst of someone like him. I’m making a lot of assumptions here, but I can’t help it. I was in his shoes not too long ago, and I know the feeling. I remember having a similar conversation with one of my high school teachers. I was searching for a figure (anyone, really) who I could identify with in that way – looking for someone who could show me that everything would be alright – that being gay didn’t mean what some people wanted me to believe.
For those reasons, and my comittment to being open about who I am, I told him.
“Actually, Kyle, yes – I am gay.”
From there, we had a short conversation about who knew and that it really isn’t a big deal. I also made clear my desire for him not to tell anyone on his own. I know he left my classroom a bit lighter, less anxious and more sure of himself. I’m eager to see what happens next. But for now, I’m just sort of relieved. I always knew this day would come – and the best part is that it feels completely right – totally organic and sort of anticlimactic. Just the way it should be.
- Jeff
Note: I attempt to shield my students’ identities by not attributing specific actions and characteristics to particular students at my school. All names I use in this blog to identify students are pseudonyms. Since this post deals with sensitive content, I wanted to make this clear.
Be like me
I’ve been failing at male relationships my whole life. And what I mean by that is…I’ve never really been able to connect with other men in the same way I connect with women. Ever since I was a kid, I preferred my female friends. I was doing flips on the playground bars and made breakfast in bed for my sister’s friends when they had sleep overs. On the weekends, I made sure I got to go shopping at Ross with my mom when my dad was doing yard work. Women became my go-to, and somewhere in the mix, my ability to bond with men was weakened. The few male friends I had in school either turned out to be gay or are out of touch. And still today, I find my relationships with women far outnumber and outflank those with men.
And so it was a challenge when I decided to take up the task of leading my school’s boys mentoring group, Boys II Men. I’ve documented this before when we made our first visit to the local jail. Since then, we’ve collected toys for families during the holiday and volunteered at a church. This month, I wanted something tangible for them to walk away about a topic I know many of them have encountered (or will) in their own lives: domestic violence. I found a local organization that does outreach in the public schools and set up a workshop for the boys after school. A month in the making, the workshop took place this afternoon.
Within the first 10 minutes, I was back in my place – awkwardly trying to feel them out as they were creating ruckus in my room. The guest had arrived, and none of the boys were listening to my pleas to sit down and get settled. Not being quiet, I knew they had heard me. I knew they were ignoring me. In that moment, it felt like the wind was knocked out of me – I needed to catch my breathe. At the surface, I was just plain frustrated with the situation at hand. But deep down, I was being reminded (in a very explicit way) of my own insecurities. I feel trapped between doing what feels right, and altering my approach to fit their idea of masculinity and authority. If there was a class about how to be a male role model, I’d consider paying a hefty fee. While I acknowledge the fact that you can’t learn this stuff, I still feel like I need some help understanding where I fit into all this. Because, right now, I feel like that last puzzle piece that fell under the couch – obviously important but just not in the right place.
Most of these boys just don’t respect me as a male role model. Their actions show a complete disregard for my intentions and are an assault on my alternative approach to discipline and relationships. They view me as weak, emotional and – ultimately – irrelevant. I’m not like their fathers or their cousins or their neighbors. And I’m certainly not like some of the other men I work with – who have my student’s instant respect upon entering the room. Unlike them, I have a quieter voice, a less aggressive demeanor, am far more patient and understanding, and have lighter skin. I am a foreigner. When it comes down to it, I don’t think too many of these young boys want to be like me. And that’s kind of a hard pill to swallow.
- Jeff
P.S. I really don’t need a slew of reassuring comments to follow – just had to get this off my mind.
White board sledding
Those who have been reading lately might be getting a little jealous. I haven’t had school since Tuesday, and with the Monday holiday, won’t be back until next Tuesday. It’s been a 6-day weekend and the fun has just begun.
It’s well known in Philadelphia that after it snows, people head for the steps of the renowned Philadelphia Art Museum – made famous by the movie Rocky (as seen here). People grab whatever household items that will slide down the snow-covered steps. From garbage can lids to cardboard, little kids and adults rush the steps and sled their way to the bottom.
We grabbed some plastic folders, cardboard box lids and a whiteboard and headed for the Museum.
And this is what we saw:
And this is what we did:
This fantasy is sure to come to an end eventually. Just not yet.
- Jeff
Another 14 inches
I woke up this morning, looked out my window and saw this:
And, after a day of staying cozy indoors, ventured out to play in the snow. The snow is so thick now, it’s like the ground is covered with a giant pillow. Our new favorite pass time:
With another 14 inches on top of our previous storm, the snow piles are getting ridiculous. I just couldn’t resist:
And to top it all off, we found an adorable puppy running around in the snow on our street:
Yes, I threw a snow ball at it. And yes, we have yet another snow day tomorrow.
- Jeff
28.5 inches of snow
It’s a beautiful thing. The entire city was blanketed with thick, fluffy white snow. In the days before the snow turns to gray slush, I can barely contain myself as I walk down the sidewalk. You’ll usually find me walking just to the side of the cleared paths – I prefer the crunching sound of walking on snow. Instead of running for the nearest hill or making snow angels in the backyard, Erika and I made our way to the neighborhood playground and had us some snow fun. The pictures speak for themselves, and snow days on a playground come highly recommended. Climbing up and sliding down play things is just more fun when they’re covered in snow.
Exhibit A
- Jeff
Inclement weather
We had all given up hope. It seemed as if the largest snow storm in Philadelphia’s history just wasn’t enough to get us out of school. A house full of manic depressed teachers is really no fun – especially after being stuck inside all weekend.
And then.
It’s the second snow day of the year, and it came at just the right time. There were echoes of cheers and shouts throughout the house and I had the pleasure of calling some of my closest friends to give the good news. There’s really nothing better than making those calls. It’s actually the highlight of the whole experience. Now, I rest.
- Jeff
To do
I hear the word reform a lot in education. It’s used constantly, and I’m getting kind of tired of it. I just looked it up in the dictionary (not a real dictionary – who does anymore?) and apparently reform is just “making change in something in order to improve it.” So now I understand why I’ve been so annoyed – it’s not that I hate the word reform, it’s that I hate how people use it. Reform is subjective – and yet it’s used objectively by those who tout reform as if their reform (their changes) will result in an improvement. I realize this is actually quite simple, but its a bit of an a-ha moment for me. What is an improvement to one party is a digression to another. Or sometimes worse – things don’t actually change at all.
With my new understanding of reform, I’m ready to propose some reforms of my own. And they have nothing to do with NCLB or charter school management or school finance. Call them “micro-reforms,” these are the changes that I want to make at my school by year’s end:
1. Implement a sexual education workshop series for middle school students to learn about puberty, reproductive health, decision making and teen pregnancy
2. Provide a professional development seminar for teachers and staff dedicated to issues about confronting issues of sexual orientation in the classroom, and how to support LGBT students and their families
3. Create a voluntary school-wide incentive and consequence program that teachers use in their classrooms, so students have consistent enforcement of rules and consequences throughout the school day (to start next year)
4. Allow female students to wear a variety of school uniform bottoms, including pants, slacks or skirts (currently, girls can only wear skirts to school)
And I’ll admit it – these are the ways I think I can improve my school. They won’t necessarily improve it, and not everyone will think they are needed or even good. I’m not fooling myself by thinking that my ideas of reform are the best. But I will say that sometimes change (for the better or worse) can be better than staying the course because when you change things, you at least know things might get better. I think that’s what it means to have hope. And with that in mind, reform takes on a whole new meaning.
- Jeff
Don’t ask, I’ll tell
“But I’m gay,” I’d said. The man on the other end of the line was silent, grunted and thanked me for my time. Thrown a bit by my comment, I think he wasn’t sure what to say or do next. He hadn’t asked, after all. But I wasn’t about to be recruited by the army without some give and take. I wanted it to sting, so I came out and said it.
In my senior year of high school, I was forced to sign up for the selective service system (you know, in case there’s a draft). Ever since, I started getting these types of recruitment calls at home every now and then. It’s federal law for young men to sign up without 30 days of their 18th birthday. And once you’re in the system, you’re in the system. At first, it was almost flattering – “you want me?” But then it was just annoying. There was no way in hell I was enlisting in the military, and I was going through an anti-Bush war phase.
I was out by the time, and it just pissed me off that these guys kept calling me. “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” as much of a compromise as it maybe was in 1993, looked like discrimination and bigotry in 2008. But there was a strange comfort in knowing that, if there was a draft, I was safe. You can’t mistake me for straight. A quick Google search would provide enough evidence for my dishonorable discharge trial. And so, in a strange way, I’m kind of feeling nonchalant about the current reform being touted by Obama and his Joint Chiefs of Staff. Even Collin Powell, who forged the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, is calling for its repeal. I mean, I want it gone – don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a disgrace and a real threat to our national security. But in some way, I was relieved by its existence. There was something about being excluded from war that felt ok to me. I know that equality, if real, must be for the good and bad. For the weddings and the wars.
It means, if there is a draft, I’ll be eligible. I mean, can you imagine me? A soldier? Ha. My sexual orientation isn’t what they should reject me for. There so, so, so many other reasons.
- Jeff
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